


Let Me Be Your Guide

by a_scholar



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prehistoric, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:55:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_scholar/pseuds/a_scholar
Summary: After a disaster strikes Sauli finds himself the only survivor along with a Grey Wolf clansman, his natural enemy. He has to put some of his hatred aside and depend on the man's help to survive the long journey back home. If only the Grey Wolf didn't get under his skin so much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has elements of my Egypt fic with hints of the trekking fic, but I wanted to have A & S dislike each other more than in the Egypt fic, and I just loved the idea of having fun with the stone age. Set during the mesolithic period before the spread of agriculture. I'm not trying to write proper prehistoric fiction, so there might be some words and concepts that strike you as something prehistoric people wouldn't have any knowledge of in your opinion. So if that bothers you, just try to think that whatever language A & S are using has been translated into English, and that's where the modern ideas come from. XD

A repeating painful feeling wakes Sauli up. Something is poking his side. His mouth tastes like mud, and by the feel of it his face is also half-covered in it. He realises he's lying on a muddy shore, partly submerged in water.

Another painful jab makes him groan.

”Oh, we have a live one,” a light voice says. Not in Sauli's tongue, but in one he understands anyway.

As he raises his upper body and looks up, he spots a man standing close. A man with a wolf pelt on his back, holding a long staff pointed at Sauli.

A memory comes to him, of locking eyes with this man once before and even then feeling a strange sense of recognition.

Light blue eyes, mid-length beard. The man opens his mouth as if to say something, but no sound comes out. Instead he stares at Sauli for a while with wide eyes before his mouth turns into a hard line.

”You're all so dirty,” the man finally says and turns away.

Sauli doesn't even think of a retort, because suddenly he's flooded with memories. The noise unlike anything he'd heard before, shouts of warning, rocks falling from the sky and mad rushing to get away.

He scrambles up, looking around trying to spot his friends.

”They're all dead. Everyone except you and me.”

A choked sound escapes him. No, no, no. In his heart he already knows it to be true, but he has to see for himself. It's not like he should trust the word of a Grey Wolf anyway.

The narrow ravine it all happened in isn't far away. Its walls go up to dizzying heights. Sauli and three of his friends had been walking on its bottom when a group of Grey Wolf clansmen had come from the opposite direction.

An argument had broken out, as expected whenever members of the Grey Wolf clan and Sauli's own Red Deer clan come across each other. The Grey Wolves had accused Sauli's group of following them, which had been completely untrue—they'd had no idea there were Grey Wolves travelling in the same area. They'd assumed they were all alone.

Some of the men had started grabbing and pushing each other in the midst of the shouting and jeering, ready to trade punches. Sauli had been standing a bit further back, anger starting to boil inside him at the unfair accusations, but still observing the situation and noticing a tall man doing the same. Their eyes had met, and unless it was all his imagination, there had been a weird charged moment. As if they had both known they would be each other's opponents in the upcoming fight, like they had chosen each other.

The sight greeting Sauli now proves the words of his enemy to be true. There's a mountain of rocks blocking the way. He can see leather clothing between the rocks, someone's limb. Blood on the rocks.

He gags and turns away.

The walls of the ravine must have crumbled. They had disturbed its peace with their arguing. It didn't want them there.

He'd run, blinded by clouds of dust and deaf from the terrible noise, certain that he was going to get crushed soon. He remembers losing his footing on a river bank. Somehow he must have lost consciousness and ended up washed up on the shore. There's a painful spot on the back of his head.

He sits down and buries his face in his hands. All three of his travel companions now dead, hopefully without suffering. They had been so young, too, all younger than him. Life is always so unpredictable and disasters happen all the time, but something like this has never happened to him personally, losing people so suddenly and violently.

It's impossible to dig them out and give them any proper rituals. Maybe if he had a lot of others to help him, but the boulders are enormous. That's going to be their grave now, his friends' as well as their enemies'.

”You might want to see if you find anything useful. Food, tools.”

The insensitive words startle him.

Maybe the other man has already spent some time grieving, though. He would have checked the status of all of his own clanmates first before being interested to see if any Red Deer were alive. And his voice does sound pretty hollow. Still, the words cause a flare of rage in Sauli and he turns to look at the man, probably looking like a mess with his muddy and tear-streaked face.

”What do you care?” he spits out.

”Well, since you're coming with me, Little Deer, I want you to be useful.”

”What? No, I'm not.”

” _No, I'm not_ ,” the man repeats, imitating Sauli's accent and clearly mocking him. ”Yes, you are. What are you, an idiot? Do you have any self preservation instincts?”

Right. He means it would be madness to travel alone. It's a very long way back to both of their clans' summer camps. Their chances of survival are significantly higher if they stick together. Two pairs of eyes to watch their surroundings and notice dangers, and many other ways in which they can help each other. It's undeniable.

The thought of having to make the journey with a Grey Wolf, however, and one as stuck-up as this asshole...

”Fine,” he concedes. ”For my own sake, then. But I'm not walking with you. You're welcome to lead if you want to, but keep your distance.”

”No. That's just going to attract predators. That's exactly what they would do. Try to separate us.”

He pictures a cave lion jumping down on him from a cliff while the Grey Wolf is too far to help, and hates to admit the man is right.

Instead of any further comment he slowly gets up and starts collecting whatever supplies he can find and deems reasonable to carry. There are several broken tools and remnants of his friends' leather bags.

He finds his own bow as well as his backpack with its wooden frame broken, but it's easy to fix. The Grey Wolf is carrying two leather bags with straps crossed over both his shoulders. Spears double as walking sticks.

Before it's time to leave Sauli takes his flintstone knife and cuts his hair, which has been tied up, throwing the cut off part into the river. His hair is going to get even curlier now that it's short. The Grey Wolf's reddish brown hair is already cropped short, and maybe they don't share the same traditions when it comes to mourning anyway.

When they seem to be ready he notices the man standing with his back to Sauli, staring back at the ravine. Sauli gives him a moment, but they need to get a move on. He doesn't want to stay there for the night, he'd rather move along before they make camp.

”Grey Wolf,” he says.

”It's Adam,” the man says after a moment and turns around, passing Sauli without looking at him and taking the lead.

”Right. Sauli.”

”Saulee?” Adam asks over his shoulder.

”Sauli.”

He hears Adam snort.

”Your language is funny.”

He doesn't deign that with a reply. Of course it would sound funny to a dumb Grey Wolf who probably doesn't even speak any other languages than his own, while Sauli speaks several—always useful when trading with other clans, and the Wolves' language is used by many.

It's really going to be a long way back to the lowlands. They'd been travelling for over three weeks to get here, following the river upstream to find its source and hopefully new hunting grounds. It might take even longer to get back, all depending on how much they need to stop for whatever reasons.

He observes the Grey Wolf while they walk, Sauli a few steps behind. Thankfully their walking paces seem to match. It would be embarrassing if Adam was walking too fast for him, with those long legs, or intolerable if Adam was too slow.

Adam is still wearing the wolf pelt on his back, but it's pulled down from his head so that his hair is visible, the warm colour shimmering in the sun. The pelt reaches the back of Adam's bare thighs, and Sauli ends up looking at Adam's long calves as he walks, the smooth-looking skin, decorative leather straps wrapped around his ankles.

”Are you not frying under that pelt?” he asks deciding to break the silence.

”Not particularly. And my shoulders burn easily.”

”I should have known Grey Wolves to be all delicate,” he says.

Adam gives a curt laugh but doesn't get provoked.

”Just the redheads.”

Sauli himself is wearing only a leather loincloth. It has triangular pieces in front and back with narrow leather straps around his hips. It's well-made though, with all sorts of braided leather straps and strings with beads hanging off it to make it more interesting. He also has his leather armband to protect his arm while shooting a bow, as well as a traditional necklace made from the ends of deer antlers, but nothing else. It's very warm during the day, but he's carrying a couple of deer hides for warmth during the nights and just in case he needs materials.

”So why do you think our clans hate each other?” Adam asks.

There's no need to think, he has an answer ready. ”Because you're lying, cheating scum who think they're better than everyone else. Always taking what isn't yours and breaking your promises.”

”Is that so? Sounds to me like you're describing your folk. No manners, no honour...”

Well. It's not surprising to Sauli if Grey Wolves are spreading lies about Red Deer. He knows that some people in his own clan go really overboard with their hatred of the enemy clan, but the reasons behind it are justified. The Grey Wolves are still newcomers to the area from the Red Deer perspective, at first approaching them with sweet words, but as their territories have slowly become more and more crowded, the Wolves have encroached on Red Deer hunting grounds too many times. There have been too many incidents involving hot-headed young men of both clans. Some men have been killed, and while the Grey Wolves in their typical way accuse Red Deer, it's the Wolves who have started it. Anyway, you have only yourself to blame if you're stupid enough to trust a Grey Wolf.

”What were you doing this far away?” he asks.

”Same as you, I expect. Surveying new hunting grounds. Well, my friends were. I had other interests.” Adam leaves the cryptic answer at that.

They walk in silence after that, keeping close to the river. The terrain is fairly mountainous on their side of the river, which means good chances of finding a cave or at least a wall to their back for the night. If they pace themselves right they might even be able to sleep in some of the same spots Sauli and his friends had slept in on their way there. On the other side of the river it's mostly plains or sparse woods, so better chances of finding animal herds on that side, if they manage to cross.

They agree not to hunt that night, though, both feeling too tired. Instead they stop when they find a small cave, and after making sure there are no signs of animals, they build a fire, Adam igniting it by striking flint and firestone together.

”Are we going to share our food?” Sauli asks taking out some edible roots and leather pouches full of nuts and seeds.

”I guess we must. Slows us down if one of us runs out.”

After staring at Adam's back all day long, he's able to now take a proper look at the man while munching on his food. At first he's being discreet about it, but then, why bother? He has no interest in being polite, or caring what Adam thinks about him.

Adam is lying down on his side with one long leg stretched out straight and another one bent, propping himself up with one arm while making a pile out of nutshells. Like Sauli, he's wearing a loincloth, but the leather pieces back and front are quite long and narrow, so that when Adam moves around, occasionally there's a suggestive glimpse; of darker bodyhair near his groin, or the curve of a buttock. It's exactly the style of loincloth Sauli has always liked seeing on men that he's attracted to. Adam is also wearing a lot of jewellery. They're very fine, with lots of amber, colourful stones and shells. But the striking feature are the dark, intricate markings on Adam's arms. Tattoos. He's seen them before on Grey Wolf men, but not from up close, and he has no idea how they're made.

He becomes aware of Adam watching him back in the glow of the fire. The blue eyes are now looking almost black in the shadowy cave, strong eyebrows and beard appearing darker than in the light of day.

He tries to stare back with equal contempt, and the moment stretches until Adam gives a scoffing laugh, removes his necklaces, and lies down on a bed made of soft pelts.

”If you're a scared Little Deer you're free to keep watch, but I'm not waking up to take my turn. I like living dangerously,” Adam says with his eyes closed.

”Fuck you, and don't call me that.”

No, no point in keeping watch with just the two of them without the possibility of a rotating guard duty. He doesn't particularly want to wake up to a cave lion dragging him away, but hopefully the smoke of the fire will keep predators away. He'll take the risk.

\---

”You're absolute shit at this,” he says to Adam the next morning after watching Adam's spear throw fall short and miss a small roe deer that sprints away.

”Well, you should have done something yourself instead of whispering for me to do it, if you're so good at it,” Adam says, sounding irritated.

”How should I have known you'd miss?”

”Does it look like I'm one of the hunters in our clan?”

No, it doesn't. Adam is tall and lean, but not terribly muscled, not looking like he's been put through constant rigorous exercise. Those are muscles that would come from regular light activity, but not from constantly running and jumping, throwing spears, carrying weights and intentionally keeping your body fit for heavy strain.

”I don't care about hunting and I have no need to pretend otherwise to impress anyone,” Adam says in a hushed voice. ”I know how to survive on my own and get myself fed if I have to, no problem.”

They walk along, keeping an eye on the escaped herd. When they finally spot it Sauli aims his bow, swiftly shooting an arrow and making a clean kill even though the deer he's chosen tries to sprint. He hears Adam give an appreciative whistle.

He carries the deer on his shoulder as they return to their cave, wading across a shallow part of the river.

”I didn't mean to imply I despise anyone who likes hunting and is good at it, though,” Adam says when Sauli is skinning the deer. ”It would be stupid of me to insult someone who shares his food with me.”

”I think us insulting each other is going to be inevitable.”

After roasting venison over a fire for breakfast and for taking some with them, Sauli is packing his things when Adam approaches him.

”Before we take off...” Adam hands him a shiny black obsidian blade. An extremely sharp one.

”A trade,” Adam says. ”You shave my beard, I shave yours. If you want. Mine is simply too long now. It's itchy.”

Great. It's not easy to realise they now have to do all these favours to each other, which would normally be done by their friends.

He fantasises of pressing the blade against Adam's throat, which probably shows on his face.

”Try not to kill me,” Adam says grinning slowly.

”Alright,” he says grudgingly. ”Mine doesn't grow fast, so no need to do this often.”

”Mine does, but while I usually like to keep it neat, I guess there's no harm if it gets scruffy. No point in keeping myself pretty since there are no other men here but you.”

His eyes are probably widening, pieces rapidly connecting in his head. He hadn't even wondered about it before, at least not consciously, but maybe he should have known. Adam _is_ very pretty, and there's something about him, something... Unashamed and teasing, sexual. Now that he tries to think of Adam as a man and not only an enemy, it's somehow difficult to imagine him with a woman. No, it would have to be a man, a man like—

He puts a stop to his thoughts and steps close to Adam, who's sat down on a rock.

It's easier to just empty his head from everything and concentrate on the task.

”Oil?” he asks.

He's prepared for Adam to reply there isn't any to be had, but he's handed a small leather flask. He grabs the side of Adam's head none too gently, tilting it so he can rub oil into Adam's skin to make the glide of the blade easier. He tries to deal with the whole thing quickly, sliding the blade across Adam's skin but careful not to make cuts, because he doesn't want to suddenly find himself tackled to the ground.

It's too intimate, especially when he has to lean close and carefully shave Adam's upper lip without rushing, moving the blade between Adam's nose and lip. Luckily Adam keeps his eyes closed.

Still, it's more difficult to take his turn on the rock. After the first touch of warm fingers against his neck he's sitting stiff as an arrow, eyes tightly closed. It feels like Adam is doing a careful job, probably shaving much more precisely than Sauli.

Afterwards he stands up and wipes his face with a piece of leather Adam offers him.

”Are you wearing musk?” Adam asks with a light tone, but Sauli can't tell if it's curiosity or if he's being mocked. Adam looks younger with a shaved face, the freckles more prominent. Even his lips are freckled.

”Yeah, I am.”

His clan hunts musk deer and trades the musk with other clans. Mixed with different oils it's used as a fragrance.

”Huh. I wonder if that's why the women in our clan always say Red Deer men are irresistible... I used to think they said it just to tease our men.”

Adam leans closer, obviously intending to take a proper sniff.

It makes Sauli freeze, and without intending to be so obvious about it, he can hear himself draw in a sharp breath.

Adam's eyebrow rises.

Shit. For some reason his palms are sweating, and there's the uncomfortable feeling of his heart skipping a beat.

Slowly Adam bends down and brings his lips close, mouth slightly open, and makes a motion as if to press his lips against Sauli's only to pull back at the last moment. As a reflex he tries to chase Adam's mouth in vain. Adam repeats the tease, and it feels like the air is charged, the tension between them unbearable. Adam's breath hits his lips, and Sauli's head twitches forward again, as if Adam is somehow pulling him in, but Adam just avoids his seeking lips again and gives a short laugh.

Feeling completely humiliated and enraged from being made fun of like that, as well as by his own reaction, he squeezes his hands into fists and turns to walk away.

His arm is grabbed, however, and he's yanked back.

Warm lips press against his, and for a short moment he finds himself kissing back, a noise escaping his throat, instinctively longing for more. But then his thoughts manage to catch up with his body. When he realises what he's doing, he bites the corner of Adam's lip. Increasingly hard until Adam yelps and tears his mouth away. There's the sharp taste of blood, and he can see a red drop on Adam's lip.

”Don't. Touch. Me,” he grinds the words out before storming away.


	2. Chapter 2

Sauli takes the lead this time, happy to not have to look at Adam, but aware of the sounds of Adam walking behind him.

He doesn't know if he's more embarrassed or angry. Embarrassed of his body's reactions, of being so _easy_ as to momentarily long for the touch of an enemy, of showing that kind of weakness to Adam. Angry at himself for being so weak in the first place, angry at Adam for making fun of him and presuming he's allowed to touch Sauli like that. Angry that Adam probably did it only to mock him, not out of real interest—and now he's really angry at himself for feeling any kind of sadness about that.

After walking for some time he hears a sound that makes him nearly stop in his tracks in surprise. Adam has started to sing.

He walks on without a comment. It's a walking song, he recognises the rhythm, but Adam is singing it in his own language with different words than Sauli is used to hearing. The general theme is similar, though; the contradiction between enjoying the freedom of going wherever you like, but missing your loved one. Adam is making it different in other ways, too, adding all these... sounds, like he's decorating the song and turning it from a very simple song usually sung in turns to pass the time, into a whole other experience.

After the song ends Adam sings another one, and then just keeps singing without any real words, belting out random notes.

"I like annoying you," Adam says after a particularly long sustained note that ends by what Sauli can only describe as spiraling down.

It's not annoying. He's not going to say it, though. He's long since forgotten the angry ball inside him and he's just walked on in a serene state of being.

Adam starts another song, his voice echoing off from rock cliffs. It's good that Adam is singing. The last thing he wants is another rockslide to occur, and he can't imagine that any mountain spirits wouldn't be appeased by that voice.

\---

That evening he notices a small wound at the corner of Adam's lower lip because Adam keeps worrying it, touching it with the tip of his tongue while he's concentrated on making something.

He's a bit curious, but he's not going to ask.

”Okay,” Adam finally says and puts away a stone he's used for carving. ”Normally I would be having fun with my friends, but since you're all there is for amusement...”

Pieces of bone are thrown on the ground. Obviously some kind of game pieces, markings on each side.

A competitive spirit rises in him immediately. ”So what are the rules?” Hopefully they're fast to learn, because he wants to beat Adam in this game.

Adam starts explaining and drawing a grid on the sand.

Later when they're deep into the game, he hears distant howling. Their eyes meet.

”Can't you just ask them to go away?” he asks.

Adam tilts his head. ”Can't you just ask deer to walk into your spear?”

He tries to resist smiling.

No wolves approach their camp, and Sauli ends up winning a few of their several matches despite being new to the game. It clearly annoys Adam, which makes winning all the more enjoyable.

In the morning he wakes up to a constant noise of _chink chink chink_.

Adam is crafting something again outside their cave. He steps out to see and finds Adam knapping arrowheads out of flint and obsidian. Sauli inspects one of them after Adam hands it to him. It's well-made. Very well.

”I'll make some more, just a moment.”

”For me?”

Adam shrugs. ”I'm helping myself, right? I provide you with vastly better arrowheads than the ones you have, and you hunt for us both.”

The corner of Sauli's mouth twitches at Adam's boasting. He's not wrong, though.

He stays there to watch, at first standing and then kneeling down. It's kind of hypnotic to watch. The regular movements of Adam's tattooed arms, deft fingers shifting the pieces this way and that.

”I actually like making jewellery a lot more,” Adam says out of the blue while working. ”That's the main thing. I love it when I can create something new every time, make beautiful things. I also love painting. A friend of mine makes these amazing pieces of pottery and she lets me paint them. This here is just something that needs to be done.”

Sauli makes a non-committal sound. Then,

”You were looking for rare stones, weren't you? From upriver.”

Blue eyes glance at him. ”Aren't you observant.” After a moment of working quietly Adam adds, ”I've heard there are all sorts of stones at the river source.”

”Yesterday I thought maybe your job in your clan was to talk to the spirits,” Sauli says while staring at Adam's hands. He's just admitted to having thought about Adam and what his life is like, but it's impossible to take the words back.

”By singing? I do that too, sometimes. When it's asked of me. I also sing during feasts, when several clans get together.”

Adam is offering him another finished arrowhead, but he doesn't take it this time. 

”I'm going to find some arrow shafts,” he says instead and gets up.

\---

In the evening Adam catches him looking at the tattoos. After finding out Sauli doesn't know anything about them, Adam tells him all about the special leaves ground to powder, mixing them with water and painting the markings, which stains the skin temporarily.

”These are going to start fading, but they're still pretty new. A friend of mine redid them just recently. He died in the...” Adam's voice trails off. ”I'm going to have to tell his partner of his death. He's going to be devastated.”

”He?”

”Yes? Doesn't your clan have male couples?” Adam asks.

He's trying to decide if Adam sounds condescending with that question. Presumably by male couples he means something more than just having sex. Sauli is already starting to feel ashamed of his own clan.

”No.”

There are no male couples, or female couples for that matter. Being attached to a member of the same sex is thought of as a phase for some youngsters, when their desires are all over the place, and when they're emotionally immature, forming exceptionally close friendships. Those sorts of things are expected to end when they grow up and choose more permanent partners. When Sauli was younger, there was a pair of young men who had wanted to continue being attached to each other, but they'd been separated forcefully and strongly encouraged to take female partners.

”Oh. Is that why you bit me? You don't think men should kiss other men?” Adam asks, looking at him with piercing eyes.

How can he just bring it up like that?

”No,” Sauli says, and then realises he should clarify. ”I mean, I think everyone should kiss whomever they want. I just hate you.”

”Right. I hate you, too.”

If any man wants to keep at it with other men among the Red Deer clan, it's best to do it in secret. There's been no real pressure for Sauli to look for a female companion, but maybe that's because he's been discreet about his affairs, even though he's sure people suspect where his interests truly lie.

”Does anything at all happen between men in your clan?” Adam asks, now picking up a stick and drawing random patterns with it.

”Well, yeah. But not in the open. You can't like, live with another man,” he says quietly, now wondering what that would be like. To set up a hut with a man he loves, to do everything together with that man, to go on hunting trips with him, or to have him waiting with open arms when Sauli comes back.

”Hm. Well, I'm sure there are men and women in your clan who would be happy if they could be freely with whomever they want,” Adam says, and he's probably right. ”In our clan it doesn't matter who you're with. It's only good that strong ties exist. Happy people are loyal people. And it's better that not too many babies are born. It keeps the size of the clan contained. As long as everyone contributes and behaves themselves, it's all good.”

That's so simple. Why isn't it like that in his own clan?

”So, do _you_ have sex with men in secret?” Adam asks bluntly.

He shrugs his shoulders. He does, although it gets hard to find guys that he likes and who want that with him, even though everyone always says there's certainly nothing wrong with his looks or character. He wouldn't know it himself.

”Liar... Or at least you're inexperienced.”

It's not like that's any of Adam's business, so Sauli doesn't argue how experienced or inexperienced he is. He knows what he'd like to do, if he was able to have a man whom he desires all for himself for as long as he likes, uninterrupted and without rush.

”In our clan there are many male and female couples,” Adam continues. ”And people who aren't bonded with anyone, taking only temporary lovers. I'm not bonded. I'm available for any man I happen to desire. And who desires me back.”

The circumstances that Adam describes are blowing his mind a little. He's envious, there's no doubt about it. Wouldn't it be sweet to find that one man who is special, and to be able to set up a life together?

He takes the fish that's he's been frying over a fire, wraps it in a large leaf and hands it to Adam.

”Thanks. You're a good cook,” Adam says and takes a piece of the fish, putting it into his mouth and licking his fingers. ”I don't know how you make everything taste so good.”

”That's just because you're so hungry,” Sauli says and sets about frying a fish for himself now that Adam's fish is done.

”Mmh. I guess it's true when you've been hungry for something for a long time, it tastes all the sweeter when you finally get it.”

\---

When Adam comes back from the river shore in the morning, he gives Sauli a bunch of flowers.

”I found soapwort,” Adam says.

He gives Adam a beaming smile. They'll be able to make soap and wash themselves more properly than with other materials they've found.

Together they chop the leaves of the plant and boil them in water by putting a small leather sack filled with water over fire. The resulting liquid lathers up wonderfully when Sauli is standing up to his thighs in the river, scrubbing his body and rubbing the soap vigorously into his hair. Adam is doing the same somewhere behind him, with his back to Sauli.

As he bends down to rinse his hair in the river, quite without intending to he ends up with an upside-down sight of Adam, who's standing there with legs slightly spread, both hands buried in his hair and soapy water running down in rivulets, down his back and over his ass.

Adam may be a Grey Wolf, but his body is fucking hot, and it hits Sauli so hard now that he loses his balance in the awkward position, falling face-first into the water.

He comes up with wet curls over his eyes and water up his nose.

”You okay?” he hears Adam ask.

”Fine,” he says coughing. ”Never mind.”

Afterwards he's making preparations for leaving when Adam walks past him, and as he instinctively glances at Adam, then turns his gaze away, but not being able to resist looks again, he has to admit to himself it's been like that all along. Ever since taking that first proper look at Adam, he's been trying not to stare all the time, but wanting to, and maybe not because Adam is the only other person to look at.

Why, why is Adam like that? It's not like he's the fittest person Sauli has seen, all hunters beating Adam in that, but somehow the sex appeal is insane.

He doesn't know if Adam has really noticed that he's being looked at. Adam himself looks so comfortable all the time, flaunting his sexuality. It's hard to know if that's just how Adam is, or if he's taunting Sauli, poking fun at him because he's had to live mostly hiding his interests, unable to explore his own sexuality that much.

Everything about Adam is fascinating but also infuriating.

Now Adam has taken out some kind of black powder and is rubbing it over his eyelids. Sauli is this close to voicing a biting remark, but then, that feels kind of stupid. He would only make an idiot of himself. There's not actually anything to mock, when it makes Adam look all pretty, his eyes looking very intense that way. Skin fresh and glowing, a few days' growth of stubble now covering his cheeks.

\---

Sometimes they make very slow progress, because they're stopping to gather things to eat and to replenish their supplies, often straying away from the river.

”I just hate digging up roots and picking up plants that grow close to the ground,” Adam complains. ”It hurts my back and legs to bend down all the time.”

”That's what you get for being so tall. You have to bend over more.”

Sauli takes a look at how much, or little, Adam has gathered.

”Tsk tsk... I'm now convinced that you wanted me to travel with you only so I could provide you with food.”

Adam lets out a short giggle.

Sauli deliberates for a while. ”There was a beehive, back there,” he says.

”So go get it.”

”I don't want to. You get it, if you want to.”

”Scared of bees, are you, Little Deer?” Adam asks, laughing at him.

He shrugs his shoulders. Whatever.

Still laughing to himself Adam goes up to the beehive and builds a fire under it, lifting some smoking branches near the hive and carefully cutting it open. Sauli stays at a safe distance and looks as Adam cuts out a thick slice of the honeycomb, bees buzzing lazily around him.

Adam breaks the honeycomb into two pieces and gives the larger one to Sauli, honey dripping off his fingers.

”There you go.”

\---

One evening when they're playing games again Sauli is having trouble concentrating. It feels like he's coming out of his skin, hyper aware of his own body. He's grinding pine needles between his teeth because he likes the fresh minty flavour, staring at the game pieces and obviously lost in thought, because Adam has to call his name for him to take his turn. He refuses the offer for one more game and retreats to his bed.

It's been too long. At first most of his desires had been blocked by grief. There hadn't been any need for a physical release, but now the tension has been growing to the point that it's hard to resist.

There's a heavy, warm feeling in his groin. He's lying on his stomach on some hides, trying to resist a desire to move his hips. He's pressing them down only a little bit, seeking friction that way, because the fire is still burning and Adam isn't asleep yet. He listens to the crackle of fire, the sounds of Adam tossing and turning.

With Sauli's own clansmen there's always been the silent unspoken agreement that once the fire dies down to glowing embers, it's everyone's own business what they do in the dark. Or if there's someone keeping watch and keeping the fire going, they should pretend they don't notice anything.

A particularly heavy sigh gets his attention. He peeks out of the corner of his eye and looks at Adam who's lying down on his back on the other side of the fire. Adam is sliding his hand down his bare chest, pushing his loincloth aside and... he's...

"What are you doing?!” he splutters, sitting up. Honestly, he should have just pretended asleep, but Adam seems to be good at making him react before thinking.

He's staring, mouth gaping open. Adam has just casually taken hold of his cock, gripping it with one hand, the other stretched behind his head.

"I'm horny,” Adam says in a lazy manner. ”What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You can't just—"

It looks different from other men's. At first he doesn't quite know why, but then he realises what's missing. It's not that the head is uncovered, it's that there's no skin that's pulled back to begin with. Now he remembers the jokes he's heard about Grey Wolf men doing something to their private parts, which he'd thought was just nonsense.

"You don't have—"

It's not unappealing, though. In fact, it's quite lovely. The size of it, the head notably flared, flushed a nice shade of pink, curved towards Adam's stomach.

When Adam's thumb moves slightly to press below the head and a drop of moisture flows out, he finally realises he's watching Adam pleasure himself.

He stumbles up, meeting Adam's eyes only for the briefest moment to see Adam is gazing at him with his mouth open, tongue visible.

Probably blushing furiously he leaves the cave, almost falling over when he goes a few steps downhill, taking support from a tree. He leans his back against it.

He'd thought Adam would be in agreement of doing that sort of stuff while the other one is sleeping, or when they can pretend that they are.

It seems Adam really, really wants to press Sauli's buttons, to provoke a reaction out of him, and he's succeeding in it.

He moves his loincloth aside and wraps his fingers around his painfully hard cock. He's jerking it fast, biting his knuckles as he does it. Has it felt this good before? He barely realises he's sucking his hand, swirling his tongue around his finger like it's— He comes with such intensity that it's completely impossible to stop a deep throaty moan.

Horrified that Adam has heard it, he spends a long time outside.

What did Adam even want? There are two likely options. Either Adam was expecting Sauli to just lie there in silence, too embarrassed to say anything, humiliated by having to listen to his enemy jerk off. Or Adam was expecting Sauli to make a move, so that Adam could have laughed and refused, could have told Sauli he didn't want him.

When he finally goes in, thankfully it at least sounds like Adam is asleep, his soft breaths even.

\---

The next morning is awkward, but he's relieved when it seems they're just going to pretend nothing out of the ordinary has happened. While they're having breakfast, though, Adam continues the provocation when out of fucking nowhere he says:

"In our clan every male child's foreskin is cut.”

Sauli spits out his mint tea.

He glares at Adam, feeling liquid drip down his chin. Adam is grinning, the corners of his eyes crinkled, looking unbearably cute and unlike the picture of seduction he had been last night. Sauli hates him.

”It's just something that's always been done. I've never heard a good answer as to why, that's just how it is. I know that not all clans do it.”

Sauli is not going to take part in this conversation, so he angrily stuffs his mouth full of blackberries.

\---

Whatever tension there is between them seems to ease a bit as the day goes on. He decides there's no reason why he should let an enemy affect his mood adversely, so he brushes all the frustrated feelings aside. Of his own volition he starts telling Adam of some funny things that have happened to him, and Adam does likewise. Having slept so little the previous night, everything seems even funnier than usual, and sometimes it gets hard to keep walking while laughing. One story is on the tip of his tongue, of fooling around with this guy in his hut and the guy being forced to dig his way out to avoid being seen. But even though that story is a favourite among some of his friends, for some reason he has a feeling that telling it would plummet the mood somehow.

To pass the time Adam asks him to come up with words and subjects, Adam then turning them into songs. When Sauli starts suggesting increasingly silly subjects, Adam doesn't shy away from the challenge, so that eventually he's singing passionately about the agony of an itchy butt.

Later while filling their waterskins by the river Sauli picks up a translucent quartz stone and turns to Adam.

”Losing our friends is what matters here, of course, but are you also disappointed you didn't get a chance to get the stones you wanted?”

”No. I found something much rarer.”

Okay, it's clear that Adam doesn't trust Sauli enough to tell him. Whatever material Adam has found, he's probably hiding it in his bags. He can keep his secrets. Judging by the jewellery Adam is wearing, he does create really beautiful things out of the materials he finds. The earring dangling from Adam's right ear is Sauli's favourite, a beautiful piece carved from bone.

\---

Later there's a brief thunderstorm, and they wait it out huddling under a tree. It leaves the air cooler than before, and to their regret they don't find a proper cave before it starts getting dark. Instead they build a fire next to a cliff that gives them at least some shelter.

They arrange their beds between the cliff face and the fire. In the middle of the night Sauli wakes up and discovers they've moved closer together, because he can feel Adam rather close behind his back. It's so nice and warm under their covers that he can't be bothered to put some space between their bodies, and sleep claims him again.

Perhaps it was a mistake, because in the morning he wakes up to pleasurable sensations coursing through his body. He's pressed tight against Adam. More like half trapped under him, lying on his stomach and Adam's leg between his. He can feel a hard-on pressing against the back of his naked thigh. He holds back a whimper. Adam is clearly still asleep, puffing out soft breaths. Maybe dreaming of something nice.

He should move, he should really just move away, but he can't bring himself to. Instead he gives himself a permission to enjoy the sensations for a little while, touching himself. Adam makes only slight movements in his sleep. That is, until Adam's whole body suddenly jerks and there's an audible gasp.

Adam is now breathing hotly against Sauli's neck, awake but unmoving.

The arousal gripping him is so intense that someone has to do something, right now, or else he's going to lose his mind. He's not sure if he makes the decision or if his body makes it for him, but he grinds back against Adam.

With a choked sound Adam presses back, gripping Sauli's hip with a warm hand.

He squeezes his eyes shut and slides his hand on his cock fast while Adam starts moving his hips rhythmically, rutting against Sauli. A wet, open mouth presses against the back of Sauli's neck.

He can feel Adam's movements get increasingly desperate, the way he's clinging to Sauli's body and thrusting his hips fast. The sounds that Adam makes when he comes are what does it for Sauli. He bites his own arm to stifle the moans and gets lost in the pleasure.

After they get their panting under control he hears a faint ”fuck”. Something about the tone of it makes his heart lurch. He pulls away and without looking at Adam clambers up, leaving Adam there and escaping, walking down to the river until he can't see their camp.

Right, he should wash up. His fingers touch the wetness on the back of his thigh for a moment before he washes it away in the river.

\---

This time not even Adam brings up their activities, so they're both pretending like nothing has happened, barely exchanging words and glancing at each other mostly when the other one isn't looking.

The sun is at its highest when he's walking behind Adam, wrapped up in his thoughts, when he suddenly bumps straight into Adam's back, smashing his nose a bit painfully against Adam's shoulder.

”Sshh,” Adam says. ”People.”

Encountering people is often the worst thing. Far worse than coming head-to-head with some beast. There are bad people out there, outcasts who have bandied together and prey on the weak.

”How many?” he asks, peeking from behind Adam and trying to spot the people, but Adam doesn't answer. Instead Adam gives a shout and raises his arm.

That's when Sauli sees them, too. Five men. There's nothing distinct about them, but judging by the joyful waving of both Adam and the strangers, it's easy to conclude that they belong to the Grey Wolf clan.

Adam starts running towards them and Sauli is left standing there, his heart sinking.


	3. Chapter 3

Sauli stays behind and looks as Adam runs downhill to reach the Grey Wolf clansmen, who crowd around him. While Sauli can't hear what's being said, from the way Adam hangs his head it's obvious that news of the disaster are being shared. The men wrap Adam up in one big embrace, then each takes his turn to hug him more and stroke his back.

Sauli is standing on a small hill, leaning against his spear. He doesn't belong in this situation. He's aware that he's being looked at, the Grey Wolves now glancing in his direction while listening to Adam. What kind of things is Adam telling them about him? Is Adam going to join them now?

Eventually Adam walks back up to Sauli, smiling. Looking happy.

He has no idea what Adam is going to say.

”They're on their way to the plains. They're alright. I told them you and I have a deal to help each other. They want us to camp out together for one night before they head to the plains and we continue downstream. Is that okay?”

It's noon, not even time to stop yet, but of course the Grey Wolves would want to spend time together. He's relieved it's only that and not something else. Although he's not very happy at all to be surrounded by Grey Wolves, he should try to communicate some joy on Adam's behalf for meeting his friends in this way, but the words come out all wrong.

”It's not like I have any say in this, so do what you want,” he says, avoiding Adam's eyes. The short silence that follows is umcomfortable.

”Yeah, honestly I'm happy to talk to some Grey Wolves for a change,” Adam says, sounding distant.

”Good.”

”Fine.”

His cheeks feel hot, and maybe it's good they get interrupted.

”Hey, Adam!” one of the men shouts.

Adam turns back to his friends.

The group starts walking, probably looking for a good spot, and Sauli follows well behind. A few times he notices Adam turning to look back at him, but that doesn't make him pick up his speed.

The Grey Wolf men check out a few places but come back shaking their heads, probably finding the spots inhabited or otherwise not to their liking. When they see some mountain goats on high ground, the men get their weapons ready and go after them, making two kills. Adam doesn't participate, as expected, and neither does Sauli, staying back. It kind of feels like the Grey Wolves are showing off in front of an enemy.

”Sauli is actually an excellent hunter,” he hears Adam say.

The men also make a big show of chasing off some lions that are on the other side of the river, yelling and throwing pebbles. They're a loud bunch of people.

Finally they find a proper cave, and as Sauli takes a quick look he thinks it's probably the nicest one so far. Spacious, the floor made of dry sand, quite flat and even. It's open-ended and lots of light is coming through from the openings. The river runs fairly close, a flock of birds down by the shore. This would be a good opportunity to get more feathers for his arrows.

”Where are you going?” he hears Adam ask.

Seriously? Does he have to ask permission from Adam now? He glares at Adam meaningfully and points at the birds.

Finally Adam nods, and when Sauli has turned his back he hears someone ask, ”Does he speak?”

He kills a couple of geese and then lingers by the river for a while enjoying the solitude. When he returns to the cave he sees the others are about to start roasting the goats. Sauli chooses a secluded spot and starts plucking the birds.

The Grey Wolves don't pay much attention to him, other than sometimes giving him a glance. He thinks some of the looks are more unfriendly, some maybe just curious. The group really is loud, talking non-stop and interrupting each other, laughing a lot. There's a smile on Adam's face and he's giggling a lot, gesturing with his hands as he talks.

It sure looks like the others have missed Adam, based on how much they're touching him. The men are all pretty nice-looking, each in his own way, and all of them are fit. It's a diverse group, though. He can easily distinguish two who are more macho than the rest, and one guy that is particularly slender, with a high-pitched voice.

He listens more closely when he realises he's being talked about.

”One of us could come with you back to the summer camp, Adam. None of us would mind that, right?” The others murmur their agreement. ”You wouldn't have to travel with the Red Deer. Or at least you wouldn't be alone with him. You know there could be a knife in your back any day.”

Sauli opens his mouth before Adam does.

”I can hear you, assholes,” he says. ”You're welcome to join us. At least you Wolves could talk to each other so I wouldn't have to listen to that one talking all day long.”

He doesn't know why he's saying that, it's not like Adam's talking bothers him. There's just a terribly painful feeling inside.

”It's fine,” Adam says. ”We're fine. You go your way, and me and Sauli will go our way. It's not a long way anymore. We'll be okay.”

That's right. They've made pretty good progress, so there are probably not that many days left.

The others look unsure.

”Well, it's true you haven't killed each other yet,” one of them says, and everyone laughs.

After Sauli is done plucking the geese he gets up and walks to Adam, who's sitting by the fire with his legs crossed. Adam has taken off his wolf pelt, and touching his bare shoulder briefly makes him look up at Sauli. Apparently the story Adam has been listening to is funny, and as Adam looks up a grin remains on his face, eyes bright and questioning.

He blanks out. What was he going to say?

”Yeah?” Adam asks.

Right. ”I don't need these,” he says and hands the birds to Adam.

”Okay. You don't want to roast them yourself? They would taste much better.”

”No.” He doesn't want to join the men by the fire.

”A lonely deer surrounded by wolves...” someone says.

”Cut it out,” Adam says.

Sauli rolls his eyes. Really. The most typical way how Grey Wolves try to aggravate members of the Red Deer, thinking they're so clever.

He returns to tend to his gear, straightening some arrow shafts and attaching goose fletchings to them while listening to the chatter. Sometimes the men are using words and expressions that are unfamiliar to him, so he doesn't quite understand what they're talking about or doesn't get the gist of a joke. They talk about members of their own clan a lot. At one point they talk at length about someone's well-being and funny activities, and Sauli is confused for a long time until he gets that they're talking about a dog. Adam's dog. For some reason he's offended that Adam has never even mentioned he has a dog.

Unsurprisingly the talk turns into boasting about the sex they've had and gossiping about who's with whom now. As far as he understands, it seems like all those men sleep exclusively with other men, not women. Thankfully no one asks what Adam has been up to lately—maybe it doesn't even cross their minds that Adam could have had any opportunities.

Later as Sauli gets up to take a break one of the Grey Wolf men gets up at the same time. Suddenly Sauli's leg hits an obstacle and he stumbles, almost hitting the ground and barely managing to regain his balance. In an instant he has his flintstone knife out and he turns to face the man who has tried to trip him, now sneering. Sauli points the tip of his knife towards the guy's stomach.

”Hey, hey, hey!” Adam comes between them, keeping them separated. ”You did that on purpose,” he says to the Grey Wolf. ”Don't be an ass.”

”Fine, whatever. It's so hard to resist teasing a Red Deer. Sorry, then.” It doesn't sound very sincere, more bored than anything.

”Put your knife away,” Adam says turning to Sauli.

”I don't need you to defend me,” he grits out.

”And I don't need you threatening my friends,” Adam says firmly.

They stare at each other for a long time. Sauli's chest heaving with breaths and Adam looking annoyingly calm, until Sauli tucks his knife into the waistband of his loincloth and turns his back to Adam.

Again he hears comments about him as he goes.

”See? Typical Red Deer, carrying a knife ready to be used.”

The talking goes on, but he doesn't stay there to listen.

It's not a good day. With the exception of the day he lost his companions, it's the worst day on this whole trip.

Later he finds the men sitting around the fire, eating and laughing. No one seems to remember or care to offer Sauli any food, but eventually hunger drives him to go fetch some of the roasted meat for himself, and at least no one stops him.

In the evening the men take out small drums and pipes. Adam sings and the others back him up, clearly used to doing it. If that's the kind of music Grey Wolf people usually get to listen to every night, they're very lucky. The playing and singing continues late, but at last they agree not to keep the fire up, and let it die down.

Soon it's dark inside the cave, shapes of some of the men already lying down to sleep barely visible. He can still hear whispering outside. Adam is there with someone, laughing. It surprises Sauli that he's come to recognise Adam's laugh so well. All different variations of it. It's easy to tell it apart from the others'. He curls up on his side on his spot, as far away from anyone else as possible.

Sleep eludes him and he's still awake when he hears someone come in, stepping over the shapes on the ground. Even just from intakes of breath and a quiet sniff he can tell it's Adam. To his shock Adam comes to where Sauli is lying and lies down himself, pressed along Sauli's back. The wolf pelt gets thrown over both of them.

He's frozen, the hammering of his heart sounding loud in his ears.

Adam gets comfortable behind his back. He's radiating warmth. Sauli doesn't move a muscle and pretends that he's asleep, trying to breathe soundlessly, although he's not sure whether Adam knows he's awake or not.

Okay, so that's where Adam is going to sleep.

\---

He wakes up before Adam, carefully wriggling out from under the pelt without disturbing Adam. There are three Grey Wolves up, two of them whispering to each other looking at him, one grinning to himself. Sauli tries to act like he's completely unbothered, but his face feels hot as he goes outside.

A bit later he's sitting outside on the ground, throwing seeds for a couple of curious squirrels and waiting for things to start happening, when Adam kneels down next to him.

”They want me to craft them some arrow and spear heads. It would mean one more day in here. Is that okay?”

Oh, no. Well, he's resigned to whatever they Grey Wolves decide to do.

”Okay,” he says quietly.

”I'm sorry,” Adam says and takes support from Sauli's shoulder as he gets up.

The morning is spent getting Adam suitable stones, after which three of the men leave to hunt for the day's dinner. Two stay behind, settling down to watch Adam work and keep him company.

”I need my hammer,” Adam says. ”Sauli?”

He goes to fetch the deer antler hammer, which he remembers is stored in his own backpack.

”Thanks,” Adam says as he places it in Adam's soft hand. Soft despite the rough work he does with his hands.

He ends up sitting next to the others.

Somehow it's nicer with just the two Grey Wolves there, the one with the high-pitched voice and another more soft-spoken one. It takes a long time for Adam to make the requested tools, especially because he keeps discarding arrow heads he's not satisfied with, but by the time he finishes the hunters have returned with a large deer.

”As a thank you, we're going to spoil our Adam a little,” one of the men says. They make Adam sit down. One of them mixes something that is then rubbed into Adam's hands. They scrub his feet and rub them. One guy shaves Adam, not the whole beard but just trims the edges, then shortens Adam's hair.

”There you go,” the Grey Wolf says. ”You've been living rough.”

It's not like Adam has been looking in any way unkempt, but clearly he's happy about the treatment, kissing the guy's cheek.

It startles Sauli when one of them suddenly speaks to him.

”You might be a Red Deer, but you're fucking gorgeous. Are there many of you that pretty?”

He doesn't know what to say.

”Has anyone ever seen a prettier Red Deer?” The guy turns to the others. ”Anyone? Or is he a special one? Those eyes...”

”Okay, okay,” he says. ”That's enough. Thank you.”

”Maybe we should broaden our horizons and try some non-hostile interaction with the Red Deer, if there are hidden gems like that among them,” one Grey Wolf says.

That's a funny thought, the two clans being able to interact peacefully.

After dinner that evening a couple of flasks are brought out, which instantly causes shouts of joy, and Sauli can guess what's in them. The men take swigs from them. One of the men comes over to Sauli and hands him a flask.

”Mead.”

The word is unfamiliar, though, which probably shows on his face as the man adds, ”Fermented honey drink.”

He takes a drink, and yes it's same sort of stuff that is drunk back home, but pretty strong.

That night the party gets a little wilder. There's dancing to the beat of drums, and the slim guy seems to especially enjoy it, everyone giving him whoops and catcalls as he dances wildly. The mead goes to Sauli's head a little, making him relaxed. He ends up sort of having fun, not caring if some of the joking directed at him goes a little too far. Maybe it's not always intentional or malicious on the Grey Wolves' part. They're not completely terrible, as far as Grey Wolves go. Now that he thinks about it, the sort of fun they're having reminds him of his own friends.

When it's time to go asleep he spots two men going outside hand in hand. It makes him wonder if Adam is going to satisfy his needs as well. This would be a good opportunity. But as soon as Sauli lies down, Adam comes to take his spot next to him. Adam's arm even snakes around his waist under the pelt. He's torn between telling Adam to go away and wanting to curl up close, tight against Adam's skin. He tells himself he has no idea what's going on.

\---

It's a relief to finally be rid of the Grey Wolves. While listening to them joke and laugh with each other hasn't been unpleasant in itself, he's mostly felt like an outsider. He's missed talking to Adam, missed it being just the two of them. Although now the thought of all of Adam's attention being directed at him again makes him nervous.

Before the Grey Wolves go there are lengthy goodbyes being said between them and Adam, even though it's probably only a matter of some weeks before they'll see each other again. They trade some items, and on a sudden impulse Sauli gives them a bundle of arrow shafts, to be matched with Adam's arrow heads. He's ended up crafting so many without anything else to do. The Grey Wolves seem surprised but pleased.

”Just you and me again,” Adam says with a smile after the Grey Wolves have disappeared from sight. ”Shall we go?”

They walk on for some time, but not very long before Sauli makes a mistake and manages to ruin everything.

He's looking at the ground as he walks, and when he sees some kind of a root between rocks, his mind plays tricks on him. For a moment it looks like a snake. He stumbles, his right foot slips and twists in a painful manner, making him cry out.

Adam is by his side in an instant, supporting Sauli as he stands on one leg.

”What's the matter? Is it broken?”

He tries moving it and putting weight on it.

”I think it's sprained,” he says, which is just as well. Even if it's only very mildly sprained, he has to rest it for a week, maybe even two before he can walk long distances. He's so angry he wants to cry.

”Well, nothing we can do about it,” Adam says staring at Sauli's foot. ”We'll just have to wait.”

”You're completely free to just go.”

”Don't be stupid.”

”You could catch up with the others if you hurried.” Adam would have to keep up a fast pace, but the others are likely stopping a lot to hunt on the plains.

”Stop it!”

Right, Adam sounds angry. The pain is starting to make it hard to focus.

”We're going back to that cave,” Adam says and takes off his wolf pelt, rolling it into a bundle. Then he attaches it to Sauli's backpack. ”I'm carrying you.”

Sauli doesn't answer, hating that what Adam is saying is the smartest thing to do.

It's a struggle to jump on Adam's back with one leg, but they manage when Adam bends down a little. Sauli's arms are wrapped around Adam's chest, Adam's arms hooked under his knees.

”Can you make it?” Sauli asks.

”Yes. Light as a feather,” Adam says and starts walking.

It's torture being pressed against Adam's skin all over. His face is right next to Adam's head, chest plastered against Adam's back, legs wrapped around his waist and groin pressed snug against Adam. Despite the constant throbbing ache in his ankle, the motion of Adam walking is turning it into a whole different sort of torture.

He hates his life so much, the scent of Adam's skin driving him insane.

And Adam can never just be quiet about it, can he?

”Just how repressed are you, my Little Deer?” Adam asks.

Clearly he wants to be an asshole. It's totally expected that parts of Sauli would get interested when pressed against Adam, the rocking motion creating friction, while Adam is the one who just took his cock out and started jerking off because he ”felt horny”, then started humping Sauli in the middle of the night.

He stays quiet, seething with anger.

”I'm sorry,” Adam says after a while. ”I don't know why I can't stop being a dick. You're just so... Frustrating.”

It's not a long way, but despite Adam's words it obviously takes a toll on him. Instead of carrying Sauli into the cave, Adam takes him to the river. Sauli slides off, feeling how sweaty his chest and Adam's back have become, and lands on one leg.

”Put your ankle in the water. It's pretty cold,” Adam says.

”Obviously. I'm not stupid, I know why you brought me here,” Sauli says, the pain and his embarrassment over everything making him snap.

Adam stares at him for a moment with a gloomy expression, his eyebrows drawn together. Then he lifts the backpack off of Sauli's back and starts to rummage through both their bags.

Sauli sits down carefully. Putting his leg in the water instantly eases the pain.

”Why are you going through my stuff?” he asks, and maybe it's a little accusing.

Adam drops the items that he's holding with such force that a flint tool hits a rock, splits in two, and a sharp edge scrapes Sauli's thigh lightly.

”Can you stop being so angry all the time?!” Adam is shouting. ”I get that you hate being helped by me.”

Then Adam stomps off, leaving Sauli there. Shit. Sauli turns to look where he goes, and Adam only walks up to some trees growing near the cave and returns soon, holding something.

Adam kneels down next to Sauli. He's holding a leaf with some thick yellow liquid on it, probably pine resin. Adam dabs some of it with his fingers on the red scrape on Sauli's thigh. Then he lifts his eyes to Sauli's.

”Can I kiss you?” Adam asks.

”No.”

”Fine. It's not like I really wanted to anyway. At all. I just thought I'd offer, seeing as you obviously haven't been getting any, and there's no one else around. Actually, you must be terrible at kissing. I didn't have time to get a proper taste last time, but I'm sure you taste rotten, probably bite everyone you kiss until they bleed, so why would anyone ever want to— _mmph_."

Pressing his lips hard against Adam's ends the talking, but now Adam is making noises.

_"Mmh."_

Sauli opens his mouth and kisses Adam furiously, wrapping an arm around Adam's shoulders and grabbing hold of his hair, trapping Adam there against him.

It starts out almost in an angry manner, but somehow Adam soothes him down with soft kisses. It feels like the boiling feeling inside drains out of him.

Quickly he gets addicted to luring more of those sounds out of Adam. Every time Adam makes an mmh-sound deep in his throat Sauli gets a thrill, like he's achieved something.

Their heads tilt from side to side, lips parting and pressing against each other. This is good, this is perfect.

Adam's arms are wrapped firmly around him. They flick their tongues teasingly against each other's, then share a wet and deep kiss, but even though it makes heat spread all over Sauli's body, Adam seems content to keep the kissing unhurried.

How does he taste so sweet, so sweet?

That lower lip is so... And the tongue—

He wants more of this, more of being wonderfully intimate with Adam. The hair is soft under Sauli's fingers, and Adam's fingers keep playing with his back, trailing all over the place.

Adam nibbles Sauli's lips playfully, making him seek out Adam's lips and kiss him deep and thorough.

Gradually the kissing slows down, but they keep sharing tiny kisses like it's hard to stop completely. Finally their lips separate and Adam leans back a little. His eyes look drugged, pupils blown.

Sauli lets go of Adam, and Adam clears his throat.

”I'm—I'm going to take our stuff into the cave and get settled down. Okay?”

”Okay.”

Adam makes an awkward motion, like he's not sure, but then he presses a soft kiss on Sauli's lips before getting up and taking their things.

Well.

This is weird. Weird, exciting and confusing.


	4. Chapter 4

They kissed. Sauli lies down on his back, one foot in the water. There are lots of small clouds moving slowly across the blue sky.

He can feel a warm breeze on his skin. He closes his eyes, feeling safe enough because there are birds nearby keeping watch.

It's nice to suddenly be so carefree, to feel downright blissful. None of his worries matter that much anymore, when there's something as exciting as that kiss to think about. He's replaying it in his mind, enjoying the warm, buzzing sensations in his body.

After a while he starts getting drowsy, but a short giggle startles him awake. Adam is standing next to him, now kneeling down, Adam's face coming closer and oh—he's being kissed, a slow and sensual kiss, accompanied again by Adam's soft mmh-sounds, like he just can't help himself.

”How's your leg?” Adam asks after pulling away.

He swallows and licks his lips.

”Uh, it's alright. Doesn't hurt. It's kind of numb from cold.”

”I can take you inside now, if you want,” Adam says and trails a finger down Sauli's temple. ”I can put a bandage on it.”

”Yeah, okay.”

Adam pulls him up.

”Do you want to get on my back again?”

He does, and as he's being carried to the cave, it feels sort of different to touch Adam's skin than it had just a while ago, and strangely also not. It's the same man he's touching, but he's less worried about what Adam thinks now, and he feels more greedy, spreading his fingers on Adam's chest a little.

Adam has made a large bed next to the fireplace out of a thick layer of soft spruce branches, with hides spread over them. Their items are arranged close.

Sauli lies down on the bed and Adam takes out leather straps, which he then wraps around Sauli's ankle. There's no way Adam would be using his fingers like that if they hadn't kissed. Caressing Sauli's leg like that.

”Is it too tight?”

”No, just right. Thank you.”

”Keep it elevated,” Adam says getting up. ”I'm going to look for some firewood. We have enough food to last until tomorrow.”

No, no. He doesn't want to let Adam out of his sight now. It's frustrating how easily his emotions must show on his face, because Adam leans close to kiss him again.

”I won't go far, I promise. I'll make noise.”

Adam sings as he walks away. Waiting makes Sauli nervous, but Adam keeps his promise and comes back fairly quickly carrying a huge load of wood on his back. Sauli is greeted with another kiss. Adam builds a fire, goes to get water from the river, lays out some food for a small meal, and between each task Sauli gets kissed some more.

It's weird, navigating this new development, but it also feels right. Somehow it's like they've achieved a truce, or solved some huge argument so that now they don't have to fight anymore. Solved it by kissing. It makes him giggle.

”What?” Adam asks, sitting next Sauli so that their bodies are touching, and carving something out of a long piece of wood.

”I was just thinking that maybe all Red Deer and Grey Wolf disagreements should be solved by kissing. What are you doing?” he asks, sliding his hand to touch Adam's leg. He rests it there on the warm skin, feeling the soft hairs. They're going to have sex. Probably sooner rather than later.

”I'm sure that would solve everything. I'm making a cane for you.” Adam looks at him and smiles. ”You can put this handle part under you armpit so it's easier for you to move around. I need to test the height when you're standing up.”

Adam's eyes drop lower, down Sauli's chest. It makes his pulse speed up. He's lying there on the bed with his legs slightly spread, the hurt leg raised on top of his backpack. He needs Adam to keep looking at him like that, but there's another pressing matter that can't wait for long.

”Actually I... I should go outside now. To take a leak,” he says, a little embarrassed that he can't just walk away by himself with a 'back soon' comment like they usually do.

”This isn't ready yet. I'll help you.”

Adam pulls him up, and the motion carries him forward until he collides with Adam's chest. Their arms wrap around each other's bodies.

Oh, this feels good. Cheek pressed against Adam's shoulder, he squeezes and touches all over, stroking Adam's back. What a wonderful discovery that they can do this instead of losing their temper and snapping at each other, having that constant weird tension between them.

He can't resist pressing his lips softly against the warm skin. Adam makes a humming sound. He turns his face up to look at Adam, and they share a kiss that leaves them both gasping, looking at each other with their lips parted open.

He really needs to go, though.

They make it outside with Sauli's arm thrown over Adam's shoulders. It's not easy moving like that since Adam is taller, but they manage it slowly, Sauli being careful not to put any pressure on the injured leg. Adam isn't letting go of him, one arm wrapped around his waist to give support. So Sauli faces the bushes, moves his loincloth aside, and with his cheeks feeling hot relieves himself, aware of Adam pressed against his side.

”Kiss me,” Adam says when he's done, in more of a breathless request than a command.

”So now you want to?” he says, grinning and bringing his lips close.

”Now _you_ want to?” Adam asks back, his breath hitting Sauli's lips.

He licks slowly into Adam's mouth, which seems to make Adam crazy, hands pulling Sauli's body closer. The kiss becomes deep and heated, Adam so eager that his mustache and beard rub against Sauli's skin.

”I'm going to carry you now,” Adam says into the kiss.

”Yes,” he says, and alright, the sex is going to come now.

He wraps his arms around Adam's neck and he's picked up, hands under his ass. With his legs wrapped around Adam's waist, he gets carried inside. He laughs loudly the entire way, while Adam keeps grunting from the effort.

After Adam has dropped down to his knees, Sauli releases his hold, falls on his back on the soft bed and looks at Adam, giggling.

”I'm not carrying you anywhere after this,” Adam says catching his breath and rolling his shoulders.

”That's okay, I'm pretty happy right here.”

Adam gives him that look again, the heavy-lidded seductive gaze, and it sends such heat down there that it makes him spread his legs and arch his back. Fuck, he's so hard.

Adam crawls over him and drags his tongue over Sauli's lips, making him moan and flick his tongue against Adam's, sucking it into his mouth.

A moment of kissing deeply, then a kiss placed on his rough cheek.

”Do you want me?” Adam asks and kisses his earlobe. _”Do you want me?”_  Adam repeats in a low whisper next to his ear, and fuck, _fuck_.

An irrational thought flashes through Sauli's mind. What if Adam is going to just tease him and leave him like this? But it passes fast, especially after answering, ”Yeah, please don't stop,” and feeling fingers touch his stomach, trailing lower.

Adam is fumbling with the fastening of Sauli's loincloth.

"Wait, I'm—I mean, I'm not cut like you."

"I know!" Adam answers lightly, with a smile playing on his lips. "And I did see that just now. I don't care either way. I've touched plenty of dicks that aren't cut."

There's a surge of acute emotion. His jaw clenches. Adam's words and the feeling caused by them take him by such a surprise that he has to concentrate on just letting the emotion travel through him. It's really embarrassing, but the jealousy is such a clawing beast inside him. He gives a short laugh and has to look away.

A hand on his cheek forces him to look back.

Those eyes are so intense, like Adam is just fascinated by his reaction.

”Oh,” Adam whispers and kisses his cheek. ”Oh.” His lips. ”I see.”

He opens his mouth against Adam's and takes the lower lip between his.

While sucking and licking it he pushes Adam's hands away and opens his loincloth himself, lifting his hips and pulling it off. He does the same for Adam, opening the strings fast, which makes Adam giggle, and pushing the loincloth aside.

Without wasting any time Adam lies on top of him and grinds his hips down between Sauli's legs.

It makes him moan loudly, hooking the uninjured leg behind Adam's legs to keep him there, dragging his fingers hard down Adam's back. He bites Adam's shoulder.

Adam is muttering something against Sauli's neck. Then his hips start a languid movement, thrusting lazily.

”Oh, ff—aah, Adam,” he whines, grabbing Adam's ass hard.

His cock is hard between their bodies, Adam's cock dragging over it, their balls rubbing together. Every movement of Adam's body pressed tight against his feels so fucking good he's going to lose his mind.

Adam bites his neck and then lifts his head. Sauli grabs Adam's hair with one hand and presses their lips together.

It's too good, kissing with wet kissing noises while Adam keeps undulating his hips, rubbing their groins together in such a dirty grind. Sauli is moving his body restlessly against Adam's, pushing his own cock against Adam's thick length, everything hot and tight and slick between their bodies.

The dip in Adam's lower back is so attractive that he can't stop touching it, swiping his hand down and over the swell of Adam's ass and back, squeezing the cheeks.

”Mmh,” Adam says, removing his lips from Sauli's with a loud smack. ”Feels so good.”

It does, better than anything. The rocking of their bodies, the agonising pleasure of Adam thrusting between his legs.

Adam's hands are sliding all over his skin.

”Your arms... And thighs...” Adam says. ”Fuck, Sauli.”

”Don't stop, don't stop,” he gasps and finds Adam's lips again.

”Mmh.”

His movements are getting desperate, he's arching his back and grinding up against Adam, who picks up the rhythm and thrusts harder. Every noise that Adam makes goes straight down to his groin, and he spreads his legs wide, pulling Adam hard against him.

”You're making me come,” he says, and fuck if he doesn't sound whiny, but he can't help it, loud moans leaving his throat.

Adam's full weight is resting on him, ass rising and falling with his firm thrusts.

Panting against Adam's mouth, kissing and licking it as much as he can, he comes explosively, his cock pumping its slick release between their bodies. Adam fucks against the hot mess frantically, the cock sliding against Sauli's making his hips jerk up in sharp aftershocks, until Adam pushes with his hips firmly a couple of times, and groaning low in his throat adds his load to the amount of come between their bodies, making their skin stick together.

With both arms wrapped tightly around Adam, he can feel the tremors going through Adam's body.

”Kiss me,” he says, and Adam mashes their lips together so lazily that he laughs, cupping Adam's cheeks and pressing a firmer kiss against those lips.

"Did we ruin your leg?" Adam mumbles so incoherently that it takes a while before he understands.

"I don't think so." 

He's tried to keep it mostly still. 

"You made me come so hard that I don't actually really care," he says.

There's a faint giggle before Adam seems to pass out.

\---

The nine days that follow are the most wonderful in Sauli's life so far. Everything blurs together in a pleasant series of tranquil moments, passion, and goofing around. Their days are divided into sequences of being all over each other or doing something together, after which they're all over each other again.

He's never had this much sex in his life. It's a near-constant desire to have parts of them touching, to explore each other's bodies and have sex every which way, being creative not to disturb Sauli's leg too much.

On the day following the accident Adam takes him, sinking inside and filling him, gentle but powerful.

And there's nothing like reducing Adam to incoherent moans.

They still bicker, just a little bit, but it's with a smile, knowing that they're only making fun of each other's past behaviour.

Getting enough food is an adventure on some days, because Sauli can't walk far and he doesn't want to let Adam out of sight for a long time. He hobbles down to the shore with his cane and watches laughing as Adam stands in the river, trying to spear fish and failing, acting like a dork. Eventually Adam does manage to catch some, though.

Sauli instructs how to set traps for rabbits and game birds, and Adam puts them in suitable locations.

It's true they're lying around a lot and not getting as hungry as when walking, but then, the rigorous sex is heavy work, too.

During one such a lazy moment, lying around in the cave on a quiet afternoon, the silence is broken when out of nowhere Adam opens his mouth and out comes a spot-on imitation of an aurochs bull. Sauli cracks up laughing, almost choking himself.

”Can you do any others?”

A boar comes next, followed by a mountain goat, then the screech of a pheasant.

On another day Sauli wakes up from a nap. When he opens his eyes he sees Adam standing naked with his back to him, doing something to the cave wall. They haven't bothered with their loincloths much lately.

”What are you doing?” he asks, curious.

”Painting.” Adam moves so that he can see. There are figures painted on the wall.

”I found a place with lots of red ochre. I wanted to surprise you.”

Adam has painted two human figures. One shorter, aiming at a deer with a bow, and the other one taller with his arms spread, maybe depicting that he's singing. A wolf next to him, or maybe a dog.

”Is that a wolf or your dog?”

”Could be either one, I guess,” Adam says scratching his beard.

”Hmm. Your ass should be bigger.”

Adam gives him a look and then adds a little paint to make the taller figure's butt rounder.

”Come here,” Adam says.

He scrambles up and goes to Adam, needing to take support from somewhere, so he puts his hand on Adam's butt cheek.

Adam lifts his eyebrow.

”Uh-huh. Hold your palm there against the wall. And don't distract me now.”

He places his other hand close to the figures. Adam takes a hollow pipe and blows red ochre through it around Sauli's hand, between his spread fingers. He can see how squeezing Adam's butt now could make him blow ochre in the wrong place, so he resists the temptation. When Sauli removes his hand, there's a perfect image of his handprint on the wall, light against the red colour.

”I'll do the same for you.”

He blows like Adam tells him to, until there are two handprints side by side.

”The next person who comes here is going to wonder, who on earth are these losers?” he says, making Adam giggle.

On a couple of nights they make a fire outside just because, and show each other constellations, telling what they're called in their own languages. Not that long ago they would probably have started mocking each other over the different interpretations. The constellation which Sauli's clan calls the fox is unsurprisingly called the wolf by Adam's clan. They tease each other only tenderly. He can see how the stars could also look like a wolf.

Mostly he refuses to think about what will happen once they continue their journey and arrive at their destination. It's better to just push those thoughts out of his mind and enjoy the moment.

On the tenth day since the accident Sauli is coming back from the river, a bit lost in thought. Adam is sitting in front of the cave, fiddling with his tools and looking at Sauli approaching.

He stops in his tracks.

The cane. He's left it by the river.

”It—it feels a lot better now,” he says, getting flustered.

He realises he's caught, his ankle having been free from pain for some time now.

”Maybe we should let it rest for a couple more days? Just in case,” Adam says with such a gentle look in his eyes.

”Yes. Just in case,” he says and sits next to Adam, leaning against him.

\---

Sauli is in the middle of skinning two rabbits when Adam informs him he's getting some more ochre to add finishing touches to his paintings.

”Mm-hm,” he says. ”Kiss?”

He gets a kiss on his cheek.

After skinning the rabbits he starts curing the meat by smoking, hanging it over a smoking fire in one corner of the cave. It will be nicer to have some food with them once they set out instead of having to find it on the way.

When he's done he notices that actually, quite a lot of time has passed.

Adam has probably got distracted. Maybe he's found some pretty stones. He does get distracted easily.

It's useless, though, his heart already in his throat. Adam has been gone for too long.

He takes his bow and walks outside, but realises he doesn't actually know where Adam found the ochre. Left, he went left.

There's a forest left to the cave that is getting denser as he walks on, his heart beating madly. He should have some kind of a system so he doesn't just walk on aimlessly and end up getting lost.

”Where the fuck are you, you Grey Wolf idiot,” he mutters to himself as he walks, bow ready, finding it easier to be angry than scared. ”I'm going to fucking end you when I find you.”

The longer it takes, the harder it gets to contain his panic. Any number of things could have happened to Adam.

He changes his direction again, deciding Adam can't have gone that far.

The noise of some branches breaking startles him. It's a boar, a large one, and Sauli is ready to climb a tree if he has to, but firing an arrow in its direction and yelling makes it disappear into the foliage.

It's getting dark even though it isn't late yet. The day has been overcast anyway, but now the clouds are darker.

Suddenly the forest opens into a meadow, and beyond it there's a steep descent.

He runs to the brink and looks down.

 _No_. Just like he feared, it's an ochre pit, the walls streaked with red ochre, and Adam is lying on the bottom. Probaby having slipped when trying to descend.

He can see the other end of the pit is a much gentler slope, but he still goes down from the same spot as Adam probably did, but carefully, not wanting to fall down himself. He needs to get to Adam fast. To know, either way.

Adam is lying on his stomach, head turned to one side, eyes closed. Sauli drops down on his knees next to him.

 _Breathing_.

Shaking Adam or shouting his name doesn't wake him up. Nor does slapping. Adam's body is scraped, probably having rolled over a few times, and a little cold from how long he's been lying motionless.

Fuck. What is he going to do?

A loud rumbling sound of thunder startles him. There are dark clouds rolling closer, wind picking up speed.

”I can't fucking carry you,” he says sobbing and kisses Adam's cheek.

It's different than when he hurt his ankle. Sauli is smaller, and he was able to jump on Adam's back. Adam is a dead weight.

Only one thing comes to his mind, and he leaves Adam, going to find some materials to build a stretcher. It's hard without any tools with him, but he manages to find enough long branches that he can tie together with vines.

With effort he rolls Adam over on the stretcher.

He starts pulling, taking the longer route. It's still an uphill climb, and he ends up crying from frustration as Adam almost slides off the stretcher so that he has to tie Adam to it and start over. Once he's finally up and he's managed to circle back to the meadow, he's so tired his muscles are trembling.

He's not going to rest, though. He still has to pull Adam all the way back to the cave. He's carrying his bow across his back, and there's no fast way to get it ready in case any beasts surprise them, but there's no helping it.

It's a nightmarish journey, rain starting to fall mid-way. When he sees their cave he's so tired and scared and cold that he's too numb to even feel any relief.

He pulls Adam inside and with shaking hands builds a fire.

”You're going to wake up,” he says, teeth chattering. ”You owe me so many kisses for making me go through all of this.”

He covers Adam with the wolf pelt, and once the fire is burning brightly he gets under the pelt himself. Carding his fingers through Adam's hair reveals a bump on his head. It doesn't seem very large, but it must be the reason why Adam isn't waking up, stuck in the dream-world.

Adam looks like he's just sleeping, but he's pale. It feels like he's going to leave Sauli.

He's aware of tears sliding down his cheeks as he looks at Adam's face.

There's no point to any of this if Adam doesn't wake up.

He's not going to continue on without Adam.

Why would he want to be somewhere where Adam isn't? He'd rather try to find Adam in another realm.

Adam's hand is cold between his.

\---

He wakes up to the press of soft lips all over his face, the tickling brush of a beard.

”Have you been crying?”

Adam's voice.

Opening his eyes reveals Adam looking at him.

”Was it because you thought you were left all alone, or because you thought _I_ was gone?”

Those aren't the same thing.

Tears spill from his eyes immediately, blurring his vision.

”You, you, you. _Adam_. You're so s-stupid,” he says, voice shaking.

The relief makes him sob against Adam's chest. He's powerless to stop it, body trembling from the force of it.

”Shh, shh. Baby.” Adam kisses the top of his head. ”My strong, stubborn, feisty darling. Beautiful and sweet.”

The endearments make him cry harder, but Adam holds him until he's caught his breath a bit.

”Be mine,” he growls out into Adam's skin. ”Be fucking mine, forever.”

”Yes. Yes. I already am.”

Sauli wants to crawl on top of Adam, but he's afraid it would hurt.

”Are you hurt?” he asks and looks into Adam's eyes. ”You were scraped pretty bad.”

”It kind of aches all over, but it's not that bad.” Adam smiles and brushes Sauli's hair off his face. ”You're welcome to inspect me soon. I just want to hold you for a moment. My Deer.”

”You're just going to keep calling me a deer, are you?” he asks, torn between grinning and rolling his eyes.

”No, it's d-e-a-r. I've been calling you that for a while now.”

”Oh. I didn't.... I didn't hear the difference,” he stammers, thinking back and trying to figure out since when has that been his pet name.

He hugs Adam again, resting his head against the hairy chest.

”If you're mine now, where are we going to live?”

He already knows it would be too difficult to suddenly just show up at home with Adam in tow.

”We can live with my people. I'll make sure they accept you. And you can visit your people whenever you like.”

”But what if they don't? Accept me, that is.” He traces the now very faint tattoos on Adam's arm with his finger.

”Nonsense. They'll adore you. Look how fast we overcame our dislike.”

He snorts.

”We did not. That took way too long.”

Adam is quiet for a while, stroking his hair.

”I'm sorry I didn't recognise you at first,” Adam says quietly.

He knows what Adam means. Not recognising Sauli as someone he knew, of course, since they had been strangers to each other, but recognising Sauli as _his_. Just as Sauli should have recognised that Adam was his.

”I'm sorry, too. I was distracted by thinking you were my enemy.” He rises up on his elbows and presses a soft kiss on Adam's lips. ”I'm going to take care of you now.


End file.
